


Truth

by castroglezGeo



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Brudick - Freeform, Heavy Angst, Homicidal Thoughts, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Sick Love, Twisted love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 07:53:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13947105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castroglezGeo/pseuds/castroglezGeo
Summary: I'm trying to keep my intentions disguised.And now I'm deprived of my conscience and something's got to give.Deprived of my conscience.This all belongs to me...





	Truth

**Author's Note:**

> This is something more personal than I would like to admit. I needed to get it out so here it is. I've always been fond of the concept of twisted and mad love.
> 
> This was partly inspired in Seether's "Truth" song.
> 
> If things are not very clear or the grammar doesn't make any sense, I apologize. I wrote this in a rush of feelings and I am not a native speaker.
> 
> Important note to help you understand it: The whole first part, all those dialogues is just Dick prattling pretty much to himself, but in front of Damian. The kid doesn't talk until it is pointed out.
> 
> Anyway... Enjoy.

Dick just vomited the words out, not even looking at him.  
  
"I think I haven't told you, ever."

"No, I did kinda tell you. But like, not the whole thing."

"I feel sick, I've felt that way pretty much all my life."

"But lately it has become more frequent and I kinda got scared of myself and that's why I wanted to go to therapy."

And then therapy didn't happen."

And I just don't know if I should, cause this weekend was really good and I was in such a great mood but now, again, at the end of it."

They have had a pretty sappy,  _fun_ weekend, just them two.

"I feel sick, and twisted."

"And I shouldn't have those thoughts and consider those things 'cause they're fucking  _ridiculous_ and extremists and-" 

"I kinda fear that someday, I'll do something."

For all Damian knew Dick, he was telling the truth. 

"But some other days I feel so fucking dumb because, how could I? It's just ridiculous. But then I feel like I'm feeling right now-"

"Maybe I shouldn't be telling you. I guess... it's my way to fight it?" he showed a pretty sad smirk.

"A couple of times I've caught myself thinking, ' _ok, I'll just come back from this mission and then lock my_ fucking _self in some place to be sick in the head_ ' or whatever."

"'Cause I feel like, if I do something about it  _now_ , it could cost me what I've worked so hard to get."  
  
He took a moment to breathe and Damian lost not sight of him. The older looked at his hands paying a little too much attention to them.  
  
"My hands are cold and sweaty for some reason, and sorry I just... threw this all on you. You might as well ignore it, for the sake of both of us" he said with sad and regretful eyes. "Really, just forget it."

Damian just stood there with a flat look on his face, snorted heavily before saying:

"You should know, and If you don't than I hope I can hammer it into your skull that no matter what it is, how it is or even the fucking circumstances-"  
  
"Damian, no." He interrupted abruptly. His tone far more low.

There was something else bubbling, something Damian couldn't yet catch, but he just  _knew_ it was  _dark._

 

As Dick reassured him he was better and apologized a million times over his splurge, the kid insisted one last time that they were  _partners_ and that he would always be there for him.

 

  
  
Later that night, using the tracking devise Dick was so  _fucked up_ to notice Damian had placed on him, Robin overheard him talking to  _Jason_. Dick was way calmer, but what he heard made him froze.

 

"Hey, I need an advice." Damian could almost see Jason raising an eye brown; Dick continued "How do you keep up with the  _shitty_ things you've done?... No offense."  
  
After a long silence, Jason stated "The will to repay what I've done."

"And haven't you thought on repeating them?"  
  
"Of course" Jason admitted, his tone inscrutable. "But because of what I've just said,  _I shouldn't._ "

They were both silent for a while.

 

"I'm trying to fight this thing but it's getting harder and today... Today I felt like I couldn't anymore."

"Do what?" the younger of his brothers asked.

"Well, one of those things  _you've_ done already."

"What thing?"

"The  _killing a human_ thing."

 

They fell silent once again and Damian couldn't believe what Grayson had just said.

"I swear to you that so many times I find myself thinking how ridiculous dumb and extremist that the  _mere thought_  of it is, and then some other times I just..." the eldest paused, his voiced cracked "...I just see it so possible and real and I just  _really want to."_

Apparently Jason was having a better time understanding the whole situation, 'cause he immediately asked, almost  _joking_.  
  
"Who do you hate that much?"

 

Dick took just a moment to answer to that, and said after sighing "It's not about hating, but  _loving_ , you know?"

 

Damian felt like something had hit him in the stomach, _hard_.

 

"I've been thinking about it for several times now" Dick said; he sounded even  _more_ calm for the type of confession he was making "but I pushed that thought way to the back of my head because, how can you  _kill_ someone you love  _so much?_ " and then added "Even if you're doing it to help, to release that person from the misery of this world, this city and its fucked up people."

Jason took more time to answer this time, and Damian found himself relieved to what he heard him saying.

"Killing him won't solve anything. It may sound ironic and hypocritical coming from me, but it is what it is."

Killing  _him_. He just said  _him_. The bastard knew who Dick was talking about.

Dick sighed, and Damian dared to peek out until he could see them.

"How long have you known?" he asked ashamed, barely looking at their brother.

Jason laughed bitterly "Dick,  _please._ Everyone who ever saw the first Boy Wonder working with Batman noticed. I just wouldn't had expected that you wanted to  _kill him_."

Damian's chest ache, the blood suddenly went to his feet and he started feeling dizzy.

Dick gave Jason a sad, resigned look before admitting:

"I just wanted to let it out... maybe that way, If I gave out the truth, the would keep him alive? Though I'm closer to wrong, and now I'm convinced on the inside that something's wrong with me" he shut his eyes "But I'm trying to keep my intentions disguised, and now I'm deprived of my conscience, and something's got to give... This all belongs to me."

 

"And to me too, you idiot" Jason added, again inscrutable.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

With tears coming down his cheeks but determination in his eyes, Damian unsheathed his word and talking to Dick and -even if he couldn't hear him- his Father, and said "I've failed you."

**Author's Note:**

> So, at the end Damian ends up killing Dick. He's crying and he apologizes to both his Father and Dick cause he failed both of them; to Bruce, he failed by killing again, but he was also determined to save Dick from becoming a killer.
> 
> As I said before, I apologize if things don't make any sense at all, but in my head they did. If you want any clarification, I encourage you to ask. 
> 
> Thank you for reading it, any comments would be appreciated.


End file.
